Baby names can be a contentious issue. One expectant mother found this out the hard way after her friends and family began questioning her choice of names for her son. What got everybody talking? “Squire Sebastian Senator.” And that is to be the boy’s first name. Let’s hope he has a well developed sense of humor. His mother does not.
Here’s the text of the message, which really needs no interpretation:
“Dear Members of the Squire Sebastian Senator Babyshower, I have a really important announcement to make. It brings me pain to have to tell you this, but I am cancelling the event. I will text you soon if you’re invited to my smaller, more inclusive party. At least here no one will judge me.
“Why? Why am I doing this? Because y’all have been talking sh*t about my unborn baby. AN UNBORN CHILD. How can you judge an unborn child?? What is wrong with you??”
“To say this frankly, my friends and family have treated me like total s**t. They’ve spread rumours and lies about my child. No, I am not crazy. No, I am not mentally unstable. No, I was not drunk when I named my child.”
“His name is Squire Sebastian Senator. That is that. You cannot force me to change his name. This is that name I was meant to give him. No, that is not his full name. “‘Squire Sebastian Senator’ is only his first name. This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.”
“I never knew my family could be so judgemental. We come from a long-lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators too. This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success.”
“My baby’s name WILL be a revolution. It will push people to question everything. Why name your baby boring and over-used names like Joshua, Brian, Sam, Nick, Mark, Bella, Marina, etc… when you can name it something special.”
“Squire Sebastian Senator will live a powerful, wholesome life. His confidence will not dimish simply because his name is out of the ordinary. Instead, he will be extraordinary. F*** you all. Fake a** family. You won’t get to be part of my baby’s life and it’s all because you had to judge him.”
Well. There you have it. “You had to judge him.”