The Independent Review has published one of those touching stories that points at what’s wring with so many marriages in this country. It has to do with understanding sacrifice and the way we often place our own individual dreams and desires ahead of what has to be a unified, team effort. It is well worth a read, but–more than that–take it to heart.
The Blunt Blonde blogger, Jonna Miller, like many of us out there, had imagined that her married life would be ideal. Her own parents had divorced early, which may have made her more determined to find the perfect match for her own “happily ever after.”
Yet the man she married swept her off her feet in typical storybook fashion. It felt like it was meant to be. Yet that silly cliche never lasts forever, and it didn’t for Miller. The day-to-day of living with someone is never easy.
Yet Miller has some wisdom that she shares in her essay, “If Your Working Husband Makes You Feel Lonely Do His Laundry.”
“I don’t ever recall the Prince in the fairy-tale having rough, cracked hands and crows feet before he turns 30,” she writes. “I don’t recall the Prince missing dinners because he was working over time or going to bed shortly after he came home to his Palace because he was so exhausted.”
There’s a reason why they’re called fairy-tales. Miller was living non-fiction.
“I know I’m putting him in a lose-lose situation,” she wrote. “He literally can’t win. If he doesn’t work late, we won’t get the new furniture set that I HAVE to have. If he does work late, he comes home to a nagging wife who is desperate for his attention.”
Then she had an epiphany while folding laundry.
“Why did my clothes look so vibrant, clean and new?” She asked. “His were dingy, stained and torn. I stopped folding and just stood there, thinking.”
“This man provides more than I deserve. If I tell him I want something, very seldom will he tell me no…. Instead of being grateful that I have an amazing husband who takes amazing care of me and our daughter, I wait for him to come home to pick a fight. I get spoiled with the fruits of his labor and he is okay with a pair of torn boxer briefs.”
In the interview with IJR, Miller explained how her and her husband’s faith has shaped their marriage. God is the guide, and the two have stopped looking at their union as a 50/50 split, and recognized that it requires 100% from both.
“His hands are rough. They have blisters and they’re cracked. His clothes are torn, stained and dingy. He doesn’t care, though. His heart is full when he walks into the door.”