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This Twitter Account is Revealing Stupid Federal Laws One Day at a Time

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It should come as no surprise to any of our readers that there are some absurd laws on the books of these United States. Most chalk it up to the group-think failures of asinine committees. Yet there must be more to the story, as these tweets from “A Crime A Day” illustrate. Some of our nation’s laws completely defy explanation.

Revealing how blueberry handlers voted… that’s how foreign agents undermine the confidence in our democratic process.

This seems self-explanatory, though I’m not sure how anyone ever truly establishes that they are in charge of a horse.

Guano is a precious renewable resource. Plus, bats are mammals that can fly. No wonder the President wants dibs on their islands.

This might be a case of honest good intentions, but it seems a bit odd that the law would still be on the books.

Too many clowns at Fort Stewart riding mopeds backwards? Honestly, there’s a story here that wasn’t included in the final text of the law.

Seems logical to me. Nothing worse than ponying up for pork products, only to find the fat to lean ratio was deceptively displayed.

The specificty of some of the laws is heartening. This one seems like it would be a good idea. Though they could have stopped with making measles infested meat a crime.

But what about “beans and weenies?” What kind of ratio for that? I’ve never seen “Beans with Frankfurters in Sauce” for sale.

We must protect the water from noise pollution.

This is one of those imports that never gets much mention in the discussion of tariffs and trade wars.

Just a heads up…. In 10 days time, I plan on clearing some fog with fire. If only I could figure out who I needed to file this report with.

Because people are not incredibly bright, we must all spell out exactly what goes where.

How does one get this written authorization? I’d dearly love to go to the Pentagon and have a beer with the brass.

DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES. DEAD BEES.

Like many writers, my math skills aren’t what they should be. Still, I find this equation most challenging. And I can’t stop wondering about that extra 1/8 ounce.

How many adolescent uses of the word meat had to occur before the government shut this one down?

There go my afternoon plans. Actually, I’m more curious about where in the National Zoo this reported ball game area is.