KEEPING AMERICA SAFE: Customs Agents Seize 227 Pounds of Lunch Meat

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President Donald Trump can’t build his border wall fast enough to suit some of his supporters. If he does, though, America might get just a bit less tasty. It isn’t the tamale trade that could be hit hardest, if this story is any indication about the habits of smugglers, but good old-fashioned American sandwich staples.

CBS affiliate KDBC-TV reports that 200 pounds of bologna were seized at the Mexican border.

“A woman was driving into the U.S. through the Paso Del Norte crossing when she told U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents that she wasn’t carrying fruits, vegetables, meat or other contraband,” the report reads.

That statement, along with the contents she was attempting to smuggle, were bologna. And this is hardly the first instance of such mischievous, sausage based deception.

Many on this side of the border were not aware there was such a thing as Mexican bologna, but there is. There may also be a thriving market for it here. Why else would someone crossing the border carry 227 pounds of the processed sausage under the floor mats of her car.

Officials said the woman was fined $1,000. At current market rates, one pound of Oscar Meyer Bologna sells for $2.00. For the price of her fine, she could have had more than twice the b-o-l-g-n-a. Just what the woman planned on doing with his processed pork products remains a mystery.

“Bologna is considered contraband because of its potential to introduce foreign diseases into the U.S. pork industry,” CBS reports.

My bologna has a first name, it’s c-o-n-t-r-a, my bologna has a second name, it’s b-a-n-d.