Dating has always been somewhat complicated. First dates are fraught with potential minefields. One of the biggest is who picks up the bill. In a very old-fashioned sense, it is the man’s responsibility to pay, but assuming gender is equally problematic. And shouldn’t it be the one who initiates the date? Seems fair. Not in this case.
The exchange showed up on Reddit earlier this week, but has since been taken down. This is the internet, though, so it hasn’t gone away. The screenshots live on, as does the controversy.
The simple breakdown is easy to follow. A woman asked a man out on a date. He is a college student, presumably in the UK. While on the date, the woman orders an expensive meal and a pricey bottle of wine. When the bill arrived, the man paid for his part, but not hers.
Later, the whole thing blew up in a series of text messages. The man, as clueless (it would appear) as most men, had the audacity to ask her out again.
“After what you did to me last time you expect me to go out with you again? Wow.”
When he asked what he’d done, she reminded him.
“You made me pay for my own food and drink while you paid for only yours wtf.”
When the option of a second date dried up, he let her know just how he’d felt about their first date.
“So? You invited me lol, you are lucky you didn’t pay for my food too, plus I got a carbonara and a beer while you got lobster and €80 wine.”
That would €110 would be $126 here.
“Wow you are so rude!!! I’m never going out with you ever again, if you can’t pay for a girl’s food then why accepting the invite?”
After that, it was down to the finger pointing and name calling.
The fractured English there in the response suggests there’s a language barrier these two might need to cross, too. Still, there’s no denying the awkwardness of the situation.
So what about it? In this new era of equality, are all dates “Dutch,” as we said when I was dating, or is it still the “man’s” responsibility?