A bride reached out to an advice columnist after her family reacted poorly to her desire for an “adults only” wedding ceremony. The bride and her fiancé both felt that trying to deal with children at the event was a logistical nightmare. But the bride’s family insisted that not allowing children would “cause a rift,” and considered the move disrespectful.
The Australian bride, who reached out to advice columnist Audrey Griffen anonymously, was horrified that her family reacted so strongly to her decision to have a child-free wedding ceremony. She asked Griffen how she could manage her mother’s expectations while asserting her goal was to have a day that was just about her and her fiancé.
Both the bride and her fiancé, according to a report by the Daily Mail, “love children” but agreed that having kids present created a logistical nightmare. Plus, by making the ceremony adults-only, they could work with a smaller budget.
“I recently went to a wedding in a beautiful vineyard and right as the couple said ‘I do,’ the bride’s three-year-old niece decided to pick that moment to throw a massive tantrum and her parents had to scramble to keep her quiet,” said the bride. “This just cemented my thoughts on making our day kid-free.”
The bride also said that she wanted her wedding “guests to be able to let loose, relax and have a good time without having to worry about their kids” during the ceremony.
However, the bride’s mother and aunt learned about the plan and didn’t react well to the news.
“I was completely unprepared for their response, with mum looking at me in disgust and saying she ‘didn’t think I was like that,’” said the bride, “while my aunty just shook her head and told me it wasn’t up for discussion and I would just be causing a rift in the family.”
“I get that they want my two nieces there but if I add up all the kids in our extended family I would have a table of about 10 children.”
Griffen recommended finding an approach that would keep everyone “at least moderately happy.” She also asked the bride to consider the “long term impact” on her relationship with her family if the wedding ended up being child-free.
Griffen then described how she handled her own wedding, where she gave parents the option to bring their children to the reception or make use of an on-site babysitter, an expense that the parents had to shoulder.
She also noted that some of her fondest memories during her reception involved some of the guests’ children, particularly her nephews letting “loose with some great dance moves.” Additionally, she insisted that even “a crying child” can’t “stop the legitimacy or sincerity of your wedding day.”
Griffen did note that the bride ultimately had the right to pursue whichever option felt right.