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Coast Guard Tells Furloughed Employees to ‘Have a Garage Sale’ to Make Money

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Today’s the day. As this article is being written, thousands of federal employees are receiving pay stubs that reflect the harsh reality of the shutdown. Many of them worked long hours for no pay. The absurdity of the situation is captured perfectly by a memo sent to civilian employees of the US Coast Guard. Here’s how they are being advised to handle the crisis.

If you aren’t being paid, the Coast Guard suggests these time-tested moneymaking methods. With a bit of baby sitting, a good garage sale, or even some old-fashioned dog walking (presumably for those in the private sector who are too busy getting paid to walk their own dogs).

If that doesn’t work, look around the house and see if there are any “unwanted, large ticket items” that you can sell “through the newspaper.”

The newspaper. That’s so last century.

“Retailers are desperate to check how their in-store customer service is and will employee you to shop and rate their service,” so get to work as a mystery shopper!

“Unlike all other military branches that operate under the auspices of the Defense Department, which has not been impacted by the shutdown, the Coast Guard is funded by the Department of Homeland Security,” Daily Mail writes.

“Of 245,000 department employees, nearly 213,000 have been deemed essential, so they are working without pay until a funding bill is passed.”

Of that 245,000, some 8,500 are civilians that work for the Coast Guard. Most, about 6,400, are currently on furlough. The others, 2,100, are essential. Those poor souls don’t get to do any babysitting. In fact many of them are paying for babysitting, as the federal day cares many of them use to watch their kids are furloughed, too.

The tip sheet, as many of the above tweets suggest, has been taken down. The person or persons who posted the ludicrous list may well be looking for a good baby-sitting gig. Or maybe not. The very creation of the tip sheet had to have been done by one of the employees who was deemed “essential.”

Here is the whole of the tip sheet. The Coast Guard may want it to disappear, but it won’t.

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