Brittany Gibbons and her husband Andy experienced what many married people do. They’d been married for years. They were raising three kids. Everything was going as it was supposed to, except there was still something missing. After her third child was born, Gibbons had lost confidence in her changing body, and that took a huge toll on the physical relationship.
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It was so bad, that Gibbons avoided being naked around her husband. If they were being intimate, she’d insist that the lights be off. It wasn’t healthy, and Gibbons knew it, but she didn’t know what to do.
And then she devised a plan. Gibbons talked to a friend who had a healthy sex life, and she made up her mind to fix the problem. Her solution? Sex, everyday, for a year–at least.
If you’re married, you may well be laughing too hard to read anymore.
The Gibbons tried out the new plan. There were times when it felt much more like an obligation. They’d be tired from work, or from running the kids wherever they needed to go, and then they’d both have to find the enthusiasm to get-it-on.
But time passed, and what had been odd at first became routine. And then, according to Gibbons, it became something more.
“…as the months passed, I started looking forward to it. Sex begat more sex, and those connected, loved up feelings began to creep outside of the bedroom — or in our case, the laundry room, the closet and our garage — and into our everyday lives.”
“We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
The change in their sex life helped out with Gibbon’s self esteem, too. After three months or so, Gibbons began to relax her own expectations for her body, and began enjoying what she has rather than bemoaning what she’d lost.
After a year, Gibbons had found complete confidence in her body. She wasn’t ashamed to be naked, or to be seen walking around in her underwear. She stopped hiding from her husband, completely. That was gone.
“The majority of people around you are not having sex every single day. They’re busy being stressed at work, coordinating their kids’ soccer schedules and paying bills. ”
“Fitting sex into all of that is difficult, but for us, it’s necessary. Sex is what reminds us that we’re intimate partners and not just roommates in charge of keeping kids alive.”
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
That, in the end, is something larger. It is self-confidence, and people who have it are attractive.