Redheaded Bridesmaid told by Bride-to-be to Dye Her “Attention-Grabbing” Hair Brown, or Not Be in the Wedding

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If you’re a man and you’re married, I’m willing to bet that this article isn’t going to surprise you at all. Some women, when planning their weddings, take leave of their senses. This is, after-all, their party. And it supposed to be a one-time thing, so we might excuse their innate desire to make sure every detail is perfect.


Yet the bride, in this specific case, needs a reality check. After much planning, she asked one of her bridesmaids to dye her naturally red hair brown, so she wouldn’t distract from the center of attention.

The bridesmaid took to Reddit to vent about the request that she hide her ginger hair, which the bride-to-be called “attention-grabbing.”


Add to this this insult. The bride asked her to color her hair a “natural brown,” as if the bridesmaid’s red hair wasn’t natural.

“So I’ve known my friend, who I’ll refer to as Ella,” the bridesmaid wrote (using the pen name Bridehairthrowaway) , “since I was a child as she’s the daughter of family friends but we’ve only become close in the past 2 or 3 years. She recently became engaged, and I readily accepted her offer to be part of her bridal party.”


“Yesterday morning I received an email from Ella. It seemed pretty standard but then when she got into the look she wants for her bridesmaids she wrote: ‘Bridehairthrowaway, you’ll need to dye your hair for the day, I’ll take you to my hairdresser and cover the cost :).'”

Well that was generous.


“This had never been mentioned to me,” Bridehairthrowaway wrote. “I’m a natural ginger, so it’s not like I have an outrageous hair color, although Ella and her other bridesmaids are all brunettes. I texted Ella about it, she told me my hair would clash with the wedding colors and that brides get a veto over pretty much every aspect of her bridesmaids’ appearances.”



Brides get a veto. She has this part right. I remember my own wedding well, and how little of it I had any say in. I joke that my wife had her wedding planned–every aspect of it–long before she met me. All she had to do was plug me in like the last piece of a very complicated puzzle.

As you might have guessed, Reddit exploded. “She also mentioned my hair is quite ‘attention-grabbing’ and I’d take away from the cohesiveness of the group,” Bridehairthrowaway wrote. “I told her I wasn’t comfortable dying my hair. She said she’d get back to me but hoped I’d reconsider.”


Bridehairthrowaway ended with an appeal to the anonymous experts that populate Reddit. “#Am I being reasonable here? I’ve never been involved in a wedding before so I’m not quite sure what’s expected of me.”

Other bridesmaids responded and said she should comply. To hell with that. That is exactly the sort of behavior that would then entitle this redhead to be the dictator at her own wedding.


Thankfully, the Internet’s voice of reason has started to shine through.

Punfree wrote: “Dying her hair will actually make the bridesmaid stand out MORE. Everybody that knows bridesmaid will be more drawn to the change, it will actually detract from the bride to have such a big appearance change like that on display.”

Tsukiii wrote: “You are not being unreasonable at all! I’m planning my wedding now, and I’d NEVER ask bridesmaids to dye their hair! This is bridezilla-level s***, like she’s scared of being upstaged by her ‘maids, so she’s making crazy demands.”


gingerslapp agreed: “Who asks this? I think other than asking if she would change her skin color, this is up there with the most WTF request I’ve heard for a bridesmaid.”

For my part, I’ll add this. Way too many brides-to-be spend way too much money, time, and good will on their wedding. It isn’t the wedding that matters; it is the marriage that follows. And a marriage is incredibly hard work. It requires the support of family and friends, no matter how much their hair distracts.