These 26 Businesses Were Named by Absolute Marketing Geniuses.

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Every day, on my way to work, I pass the sign below. Rush, Rush, and Delay–Attorneys at Law. It took me a while to realize just how funny the name really is. It is the perfect description of the legal profession. My failure to see the humor in it for so long is a sign that I need more coffee.

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Here are 26 of the most appropriately named businesses I’ve seen.

We’ll start on the creative side. Bread Zeppelin. They even have a blimp with a bite taken out of it as a logo. How cute.

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Let’s hope Bread Zeppelin stays above board with their recipes and doesn’t copy quite so freely as the band did. They’ve been having a hard time with copy right issues lately.

Juan in a Million. I have no idea what they sell. This is one of those names I won’t forget, but it isn’t doing anything for the branding, unless they’re selling Juan.

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This does look like a great place to pick up a paper, though. But which one? There are so many!

I’m not sure I’d trust the hobbits to do my laundry. By the look of their awning, they must be close to Mordor.

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And while we’re on the subject of hobbits….

The Lord of the Wings. One wing to rule them all. Eat it and you gain immeasurable power.

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And if the sign is any indication, the wings are probably spicy. Odd that the place is empty. Not a good sign. I bet Gandalf entrusted the Wing to Fwodo and he’s on his way back to the Mordor Laundry.

And for those looking for a bit more modern twist to their literary puns…

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Imagine using literature about kids killing kids to sell fast food. Someone has a great sense of humor.

And as long as we’re talking about completely inappropriate literary allusions, how about this one?

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I always thought Scout would grow up to enjoy a good cocktail, but not tequila. What a way to mock the racial tensions of the American Southland!

I like the emphasis here on traditional fish and chips. I think it takes the understanding of the movie to a whole new level.

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The Godfather was, if nothing else, a study in family traditions.

But we’ve got smaller fish to fry.

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This has to be my favorite one from this whole list. I’d eat there every night. I’d make my kids watch the movie, and then we’d go eat here.

But some of you may feel the reference to be a bit too dark. Well how about this one?

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There’s never been a truer sign. What happened to the A?

Speaking of people who will never get to grow up….

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Pita Pan. I bet this is right next door to a Wendy’s.

Pita Pan used to be next door to this place. But then the Thai Tanic sank.

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Seriously. Who would eat here? They even advertise the adventure you’ll have, right in the window. Here’s the adventure–I’ve seen the movie–the boat sinks.

There are some people who simply have too much time on their hands.

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I’m still tempted to go, though. My back is aching, and I bet the helicopter ride off the island will be really therapeutic.

While we’re talking about movies, I’d like to throw in a plug for one of the greatest ever.

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Dr. Jeans. If you are going to do battle with Nazis while trying to preserve the world’s most arcane archeological treasures, I’d highly suggest you wear Indiana Jeans. They belong in a museum.

And then bust on over here with your mutt.

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Temple of groom. Has to be better than Temple of Doom–one of the worst sequels ever.

This place would have been extremely popular in the 80s.

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I didn’t know you could be a professional ironer. Ironer? One who irons?

The movie themed stores and shops are clever, at least on the first read.

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But I’d have a hard time saying the name over and over again. I wonder if these business owners ever second guess their decisions.

Now this is funny. I wonder if the owner is a Native American.

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Enough time has passed that we can all laugh about General George.

You maniacs! You blew it up!

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I wonder if the grapes are crushed by monkey feet.

Spex in the City. Very classy. A subtle kind of humor, and a joy to repeat when you’re asked where you got your glasses.

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Too bad the shop is in the suburbs. Just kidding–of course it is in the city.

This, though, will get you sued.

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You don’t make fun of Lucas, or The Mouse will send a Cease and Desist straight to your door.

Here’s another from the Star Wars universe. Only this one has mixed all kinds of images. The name and the logo simply don’t match.

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And who in their right mind advertises their hair cutting prowess with an image of someone who wears a full-on Mandalorian helmet?

The last one in the list touched a nerve, but this one here is cringe-worthy. Still, time heals all wounds. So subtle jokes that mock the people flame-broiled by the Hindenburg… I guess that’s alright.

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Oh the humanity!

This one is fun, on a couple of levels. The first time I saw the sign I thought it might be a place where I could go exchange my kid for one who actually does pick up his Legos when he’s done playing with them.

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And then I realized that this is what all the bathroom fuss is about. If you’d always wanted a girl, but had nothing but boys–no problem. Just pop in here to Kid Sex Change and have them do a quick reassignment.

If you are sensitive to language, stop now. Hold off. Don’t read any further. You’ve been warned.

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I feel this way every single morning. Every one. Until I get coffee. And then sometimes still. Though I am curious about the girls, girls, girls, upstairs. They may like coffee too.

And for last, I’ve saved this gem. Take a really close look, and see what’s odd about this one. Hint, it is far more subtle than you would assume at first glance.

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