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Police Department Releases List of Things Not to Say to Police. It’s Going Viral

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If every time you casually cross paths with a member of law enforcement you become tempted to toss out a cliché comment, like “I didn’t do it,” one police department is respectfully requesting that you restrain yourself from giving in to the urge, in a Facebook post covering “things you don’t need to tell cops” when you’re out in public.

The somewhat tongue in cheek Facebook post was created by the Bangor Maine Police Department, and outlines the various “things you don’t need to tell the cops when you are in a public setting.”

Most of the six points are intended to be humorous, but also have a layer of truth regarding what many law enforcement officers encounter on a regular basis.

First, they state, “You don’t need to tell us-‘I didn’t do it.’ We probably don’t think that you did do it. We probably don’t know what ‘it’ is. We assume most people we run into during the average day didn’t do it, and neither did their friends.”

The post also says, “Do not point at your friend and say-“He/She did it.” It was funny the first 389 times. Actually only about 4 times, but we are all about fairness. You might not know that we have heard it before. Most of us will still smile.”

Point three is a dozy, with the Bangor Police Department requesting, “Do not tell your children that we are going to arrest them if they don’t behave. Don’t. Do. That.”

They assert that they are not going to arrest children for misbehaving in public, and that “kids have enough to worry about without thinking that each time they see a police officer they are going to be arrested.”

The also added, “We don’t arrest kids. You are going to need to work on your parenting skills if this is one of your strategies. Stop it.”

In the post, they state that law enforcement also doesn’t need to know if you’re drunk and that “we can usually tell.” As long as you “don’t drive a motor vehicle,” they welcome you to “enjoy your altered state of mind.”

Similarly, they assert that you don’t need to inform them if you aren’t drunk either, stating, “We know that people consume alcoholic beverages in many settings.” Also, it’s not necessary to say that “you did not speed today, discuss when you last got pulled over, or mention that you’ve “never had a summons.”

The post closes with some things the law enforcement officers do like to here, ranging from a simple “hello” to request for directions and a quick, “You are not wearing too much Old Spice today.”

They also remind people that cops “are not suspicious of everyone we run into” and that they “enjoy talking to all kinds of folks.”

The post did offer one final piece of advice: “Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things along, and be kind to one another,” before signing off with, “We will be here. All we have is each other.”