If you don’t want anyone reading something, don’t write it down. This isn’t exactly new advice, but too many people forget. They write things down thinking the won’t be read, but they are read. Just ask the Democratic National Committee.

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The DNC made the mistake of assuming their communications would remain private. And maybe they had that right. But what about all of the people who write things down that they know full well shouldn’t be read? The King knows. Just Keep Quiet.

And if the mute living bobble-head mascot of the perennial “also-ran” of fast food chains isn’t inspiring enough, consider this example. It ends badly. Or gloriously, perhaps. Depends on your point of view.

The story begins with what must have been one epic Whopper. Why else would anyone get onto Burger King’s Instagram page and rave about what is, by all standards, a middling fast-food hamburger?

Maybe he wanted to get caught. The Chive captured the spirit perfectly. This duplicitous Romeo got caught, big time. He took a date to a Burger King (which should have been a sign, right there).

And a word of warning to those who find some verbs and adjectives malicious. The language is about to get rough. Here it goes:

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That’s not good. If you’re going to Burger King, you have to take your best girl. Even if she can’t spell um, and relies on multiple units of terminal punctuation to carry the emotional momentum of a question. She still deserves a burger.

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Looks like Shanlee is wising up. Or maybe, if she wasn’t so down on Burger King, Jordan wouldn’t be stepping out on her. Lesson learned?

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Yup. She’s wising up. And so is everyone else, as this relationship’s unraveling is happening in real time on a fast food company’s Instagram account.

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And the comments are lit. Indeed. And Jordan–too late. Once you called kicass01 “my girl,” it was over.

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What a shame. Young love. Burgers. Bad things are bound to happen. And to have the melt-down so publicly.

But Shanlee learned a lesson. You order this:

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And you get this:

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