Earlier this year, Neiman Marcus started selling some very expensive collard greens. Most people felt befuddled, though there were some that claimed Neiman Marcus was guilty of cultural approbation. And now Nordstrom’s has a new catalog item that is even more baffling. It’s a rock. A rock in a little leather holster.
An $80 rock. What is it, exactly? Concealed carry left over from the stone-age? Possibly. Nordstrom’s description is less specific: “A paperweight? A Conversation piece? A work of art? It’s up to you.”
“This smooth Los Angeles-area stone — wrapped in rich, vegetable-tanned American leather secured by sturdy contrast whipstitching — is sure to draw attention wherever it rests,” the description continues. “A traditional hardening process gives the leather a beautiful ombré effect. Like all Made Solid pieces, this one is cut, shaped, sewn and finished by hand in artist Peter Maxwell’s Los Angeles studio.”
The leather wrapped rock caught shoppers’ attention, but most thought it was a joke.
It isn’t a joke, exactly. The rock concept was developed at Made Solid, who calls it a “Wrapped Stone”. Nordstrom spokeswoman Brie Cross told BuzzFeed News that the handmade label wasn’t meant to be funny. The leather pouch is handmade. “Only Mother Earth can take credit for rocks,” she said.
The rocks are “really cool, labor-intensive objects that are used as everything from paperweights to doorstops to home/display accents,” a Made Solid spokesman said. The rocks are provided to Made Solid by “select reps that can legally pull them from our local mountains for use in landscaping.”
Yet some of the customers aren’t buying it.
“I ordered the leather wrapped stone as a gift for my beloved girlfriend but when it arrive in the mail I quickly noticed it wasn’t as described,” wrote a disgruntled customer. “It clearly states that the stone was hand-made but upon inspection one could easily discern many markings from factory machinery. I had it returned so they could ship me an authentic hand-made stone.”
Others are playing along with the joke. “Choose this over food! As a single mother, it is often difficult to put food on the table for my 5 children. However, when I saw this piece of rock, I couldn’t help it but to purchase this item. Yes, no one in my family will eat this month, however I have a piece of rock… I can’t believe the rock is made by hand too! I was always told rocks were made through thousands of years erosion, guess I was wrong.”
“This is the perfect holster for your slappin’ stone. Even comes with a backup. It’s a little pricey — but the sales lady told me the rock was made by hand. That’s got to be difficult.”
What is a “slappin stone” exactly? We’re still researching that one.
And the stylish caveman now has an accessory he can’t live without.
“rock make all grak friend jealous best rock in village. rock work for hitting things. rock look nice in pouch to wear for hunt or night out with mrs grak. rock cost much but grak get what grak pay for.”
Some of the geezers who can still remember the stone age, though…. They’re having issues.
“Have to say that this is truly a beautiful product, but I had to send it back because there aren’t any doggone instructions. I don’t even know how to turn the flippin thing on. I know you millenials know how to do all this new techno stuff, but help some of us old guys out, would ya?”
At least Santa has some options, though. “The perfect stocking stuffer for the naughty person that has everything!”
For those who would rather not pony up for the $85 rock, there is a smaller rock for sale for $60.