As news trickles down about the last dying breaths of the #NeverTrump movement, it looks like The Donald is a lock. So what is going to happen if Trump wins in November? Will Canada have to build a wall to keep all of the “Americans” out? If you listen to these voices below, it would seem so.
Here are nine pop-culture icons who have vowed to leave if the democratic process doesn’t go their way.
“YOU DT ARE NOT GOD NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU THINK YOU ARE!!! (& if he doesn’t think he is “God” he thinks he is the f—king chosen one or some s—t! We’re all just f—king jam between his rich ass toes! Honestly f—k this s—t I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean! )”
She is so eloquent. Losing Miley would mean losing a national treasure. We must do everything we can to change her mind. Please don’t go Miley. What would we do without you?
Samuel L. Jackson
“If that motherf—ker becomes president, I’m moving my black ass to South Africa,” he told Jimmy Kimmel.
I’d be sad to see Jackson go. He’s funny. He can play the all of those scary-black-guy roles in a way that borders on threatening, but never quite gets there.
Stewart told People he’d leave if Trump was elected. “I would consider getting in a rocket and going to another planet, because clearly this planet’s gone bonkers,” he said.
Interstellar Stewart. That could be interesting. It would certainly improve the ratings for NASA’s videos.
“IF [TRUMP] WERE TO BE ELECTED, I’M MOVING TO JUPITER,” Cher tweeted.
That’s cool. She can ride with Stewart. That would be an epic power-couple. I would miss Cher, though. I keep forgetting she’s still alive. Then I see her, and I say “Wow. Cher’s still alive!” and I miss Sunny.
Griffin said Trump “is good at making money, but he’s an ignorant motherf—ker when it comes to social issues. If Trump wins, I’m moving to Africa. If he wants to build a wall to keep Mexicans out, I know what the f—k he feel about a n—a.”
Losing Griffin would be an honest shame. For those of you who are having trouble placing him, think back to “The Year Without a Santa Clause,” from 2006. Griffin played Jingle.
“My confession for this election is if any Republican gets nominated, I’m gonna move to Canada with my entire family. Is that bad?” she said on The View. “I already have my ticket … No, I literally bought my ticket, I swear.”
I’m going to have to come clean on this one and admit I don’t know who this is. But I guess that’s no real loss, as she is a forgone conclusion. She set the I’m-going-to-leave bar pretty low. Trump doesn’t have to win. He doesn’t even have to get nominated. She’s going to leave if “any Republican gets nominated.”
Sharpton said, “If Donald Trump is the nominee … I’m also reserving my ticket to get out of here if he wins. Only because he’d probably have me deported anyhow.”
If Sharpton had a nickle for everyone who wanted him deported, he could buy Donald Trump.
“Listen, he can be whatever party he wants to be,” Goldberg said. “What he can’t be is he can’t be the guy that says it’s your fault stuff isn’t working. That’s not the president I want. Find a way to make stuff work.”
“Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know. I can afford to go,” she added.
And she could. This is a woman who could afford to do whatever she wants. She can’t seem to make an impact in Hollywood anymore, but she’s raking in the residuals from the late 80s, so she can afford to go out in style.
Lopez told the media mavens at TMZ there are “enough racists in this country for [Trump] to get elected.” This just might be true. “If he wins,” Lopez added, “he won’t have to worry about immigration. We’ll all go back.”
So there you have it. No need for the wall. We’ll actually be desperate for someone to pick our apples, clean our hotel rooms, and serve up thinly veiled cultural cliches on television because they’ll all go back.